Can desire stay in a relationship forever?
To start off, let’s first get technical with some definitions.
The definition of desire is: verb. strongly wishing for or want of something
The definition of domesticity is: noun. home or family life
So, while those are literal definitions of those words, for this blog we’re using them in the context of our relationships.
With that in mind, desire is a want or wish for more passion and intimacy in your relationship, and domesticity is framed as wanting to settle down and create the “home life” you want.
The “honeymoon phase” of a relationship truly is a magical time, isn’t it? You and your partner can’t keep your hands off each other, sex happens often and passionately, you try out new positions or kinks, and everything is a warm ball of sexy sunshine.
Then it’s over.
It’s ok though; you now have a more mature, deeper, and connected relationship.
Sex still happens of course, but now you know exactly what your partner likes and how they like it (not a bad thing!), you have deeper emotional conversations as you get to know your partner even better when both of you are still clothed, and the two of you start making larger life plans to continue the happiness that you feel together (moving in together, get a dog, maybe propose, etc.).
As you two move forward with the semi-traditional “relationship steps” it is super important that you don’t leave the passion and romance from the honeymoon phase entirely behind. BUT, your lives are fairly intertwined by now, you may even be living together, and just dropping everything for some super intense passionate sex isn’t as easy as it used to be.
Obligations get in the way; laundry has to be done, dishes get left out, routines are formed… you can see how easy it is to lose track of the desire you once had in your relationship.
Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that way.
Like we say all the time, good relationships require constant work, especially when it comes to figuring out a good combination of passion and desire, with obligations, and responsibilities. People change constantly, so it’s important to stay updated on ourselves and our partners. By consistently doing relationship check-in’s you reinforce the foundation that you and your partner are building together. You can make sure that the parts of the honeymoon phase that you love don’t go away just because the phase itself ends. #honeymoonforlife
Let’s be real — the chores need to be done, work needs to be completed, dogs need to go for a walk, in-laws will come to visit — all of the realities of life will make themselves known, rest assured.
However, your desire, passion, and sex life, however, won’t always make themselves as known. Your sex life doesn’t pee on the carpet if it doesn’t go for a walk. Your sex life won’t pay your bills (unless sex is what you do for money, but that is a whole other conversation).
Your sex life won’t always be there — unless you want it to be.
Take the time to talk to your partner! Check in on your love life together to see if you both like the way things have been going. By doing so, you show each other that you value your relationship and each other’s sexual needs – something that needs to be talked about from time to time.
As life “sets in,” you don’t have to make sex a sacrifice in your relationship. If you and your partner strive to have a good balance, or integration, of desire among your domesticity, you are setting yourselves up for a successful relationship.
If you have no idea how or where to start a relationship check in our conversation, we got your back! Our WWC Family Meeting will guide you through a consistent relationship check in’s so you and your partner feel happy, desired, and confident together.
And if any of this blog resonated with you, we have a masterclass on integrating desire + domesticity to dive even deeper into this important topic.
You can check it out HERE.