?: Dmitry-Fisher

Blow job. Oral Sex. Head. Going down.

So many names. And one universal thing — most men want one. And yet, many women find themselves feeling like they don’t know what they’re doing or not enjoying the interaction.

We get that this topic is sensitive (no pun intended!) and that every couple is different. Please know that this is general information based on a combination of research, expert knowledge, and personal experience.

Since there’s two of us, we thought it would be fun to talk about this phallic topic from both the male and female perspective.

Also, quick side note from Rachel: When I was young, I thought that a blow job was when someone blew air on someone else’s penis. Did anyone else have this thought?! ?

Here are 6 tips, from both of us, to enjoy your time down there.

 

#1. Find Your Reason WHY

Rachel

Ladies, your partner wants and needs to know that you’re happy to be doing what you’re doing. Think about getting a massage. Have you ever felt like the person giving it isn’t really into it or would prefer to be doing something else? It feels pretty shitty. So, find your why and channel your positive attitude outward.

Kyle

Knowing that your partner (who is about to give you a blowjob) is into it for the right reasons makes the experience better! Plus it kind of kills the fun if you know that your partner doesn’t want to be doing what they are.

#2. Figure out HOW you like to GIVE

Rachel

Do you want to be on your knees? Standing up? Laying down? Many women express not wanting to feel objectified during oral sex, and some enjoy the more submissive role in sexual situations. There is no right or wrong here. It’s honestly all about what works for you and your partner. Since you’re the one giving, think about how you’re most comfortable and ask your partner if that position is good for them. You can always try something new and stop it right away.

Kyle

Relax! Drop any porn-based expectations. Real people have very real gag reflexes. Let your partner explore… and communicate with her about what feels good.

#3. Ask Your Partner What THEY Like

Rachel

While some techniques are universally loved, every penis is different! Seriously, each man feels pleasure differently, just like each woman. I know it sounds obvious, but sometimes we forget. It’s also essential that you feel comfortable having an open dialogue around this topic and anything sexually related.

Kyle

Be honest! This person is about to put your dick in their mouth! Tell them HOW you like it and be open to dialog about what your partner thinks. (Pro Tip: Agree upon “finishing” locations ahead of time, so nobody ends up with a bad taste in their mouth! Wordplay is fun!)

blow job enjoy

Ask for What YOU Need FIRST

Rachel

Do you want to be in a particular location? Do you need your partner to groom? Do you want your partner to shower before-hand? Figuring out what you need and then asking for it will help set you up for success. Success, in this case, is being as comfortable as possible and enjoying pleasing your partner! If you’re not sure what you need, I want to encourage you to explore your own body and go back to the basics. Check out our the resources in our WWC Member Hub.

Kyle

Athletes perform better when the field, course, and track is manicured. Listen to what your partner asks you, so they feel as comfortable as possible! The more comfortable your partner feels, the better you’ll feel.

Lips, Teeth, + Tounges… oh my!

Rachel

Everyone. Is. Different.  Some men like a little teeth, some men are terrified of the edge. Let’s start with lips. A good rule of thumb is to pucker your lips and then relax them. See/feel the circle you just made with your lips? Imagine turning your mouth into a vagina with a tongue. ??

As far as your tongue goes, pretend you’re eating a big stick popsicle, and you want to taste it on every single taste bud.

Kyle

This is helped by talking about how each of you likes oral sex. Also, if your partner accidentally gets toothy, be polite about letting them know. I know its a sensitive area, but being snapped at mid-BJ can be pretty hurtful.

Make the “ending” a HAPPY one

Rachel

Have a conversation about where you would like your partner to ‘finish’ before getting going. Do you want your partner to ejaculate in your mouth? On the floor? In the shower? On your stomach? Again, there is no right or wrong here — just what you feel comfortable with and what your partner would like, too!

Kyle

When the time comes (I couldn’t help myself) do what you and your partner agreed to do in your earlier conversation. Your partner won’t be too keen to give you another blowjob if you don’t respect their location-based ejaculation request.

A PSA FOR THE GUYS FROM KYLE

Keep it clean. Would you want to brush your teeth with a toothbrush that you kept in your pocket all day? No, you absolutely wouldn’t. If you have been out for some time before your zipper comes down – make sure your situation is presentable. Make sure your penis/ball area is clean is what I am saying. It’s polite. Personal grooming is just that, personal. You can grow your pubic hair as long as you want to! Pubic hair’s purpose is actually to pad and protect various parts of our anatomy – not to mention helping keep bacteria out of places you don’t want it. The way you trim, wax, or laser your pubic hair is up to you – just remember that a well-groomed lawn is a lot more fun to play on than an overgrown mess. ?

If you want to learn more about sex and sexuality, check out our Masturbation 101 Guide or our Orgasms 101 Masterclass. Happy Learning!