Are you Superman, Batman, Dr. Strange, or Thor?
Assuming you answered no – continue reading to understand why you don’t need a cape to be a hero for your partner.
People aren’t perfect.
You aren’t perfect (probably). I certainly am not.
NO COUPLE IS PERFECT.
Most of us are forgetful, inconsistent, and easily disturbed or bothered by just about anything.
In our partnerships and relationships, we offer our services and ourselves to each other for support in both good times and bad. I know that sounds like wedding vows, but it’s true!
But being supportive or being a “hero” for your partner isn’t a full-time job. Think of it more as a passive effect of being in a partnership.
THINK ABOUT IT.
We aren’t out there every week running all of our partner’s errands, making them three meals a day, keeping the house clean, and living out our own supported and fulfilled lives. That’s impossible. We aren’t Superman. If only we were Superman!
Speaking of superheroes, I’m reminded of a scene from the recent Marvel film, Deadpool. If you haven’t seen it, I would highly recommend it (though it definitely earns it’s R-rating in the first 30 seconds, just a heads up!).
In Deadpool, the anger-filled protagonist (Deadpool) is listening to a member of the X-Men trying to convince him not to kill the bad guy, and spare his life to show a sign of being a true hero. Stay with me if you aren’t a comic book fan, and have no idea what I’m talking about.
The hero tries to convince Deadpool to spare his enemies and tells him that being a hero isn’t a full-time job. It’s only something you do 4-5 times in your life. Nobody wakes up and goes to sleep a hero, heroes are defined by only a few moments in life.
See where I’m going with this?
We can’t wake/eat/sleep/breathe being an incredible partner.
To be a great partner, you only have to be there 100% a few times throughout life.
- A very bad day.
- The WORST argument.
- A colossal fuck-up of epic proportions by one of you.
Most of the time, relationships are 20/80, 75/25, 10/90, 40/60, etc.
These are simple but important opportunities to be an amazing partner:
- A comfy night at home with everything taken care of so they can just relax and let the day go. (Dinner made, a bottle of special wine, foot massage, a date night maybe?)
- Admitting fault if it’s yours, no matter how much it hurts. Being the first one to apologize in the face of an argument is difficult, but it is powerful in the midst of conflict.
Plus, have you seen The Incredibles? NO CAPES.
Full Disclosure: While I’ve been writing this blog post, Rachel had the Norovirus – a stomach bug that has knocked her the fuck out. So, oddly enough, I have been writing this blog post while being a cape-less support for my partner. It isn’t easy – let me tell YOU!
Sometimes, being the best support means pushing your partner to do more (drink fluids they do not want to drink), and sometimes it means just laying in bed next to them quietly monitoring them as they do disgusting (albeit necessary) things into a bowl.
We can all be heroes; we just need something worth protecting to bring it out of us.
By the way, if you haven’t downloaded your copy of the WWC Family Meeting – go for it. It’s what helped get me organized for the first time in my life. And if you know me personally, you know how difficult that probably was. Additionally, our WWC Communication Scripts will have you navigating even the most challenging conversations with ease – click the image below to get your free copy! ⬇️