***Your phone will buzz or ding while you read this blog***

For 90% of you, that statement is probably true.

But, this is supposed to be a blog about how to know what to get your spouse for the holidays, isn’t it? So, why am I talking about phones?

This blog is really about listening.

Also, puppies.

It’s easy to tell someone: “Just listen to your partner, and they will tell you what they want unknowingly,” or some shit like that.

No, it isn’t.

Contrary to what many people believe, listening is fucking HARD. We have a million distractions running around us at any given point – so staying present in every conversation we have with our partners can be really difficult!

Now that information isn’t a valid excuse for not listening to your partner – come on now – but it is something that I want people to acknowledge: We live in one of the most distracting times on earth due to “push notifications.”

So, besides flat out asking your partner what they want for (FILL IN THE BLANK HOLIDAY), how do you know what to get them?

I am going to give you a few tips that I have learned over the years from Rachel on how to pay attention to what your partner is saying – like a frickin’ ninja.

I would also like to acknowledge that if you and your partner just like to tell each other what to get for them, and that makes both people happy – then just do that! This blog is written from the perspective that you are trying to get a gift that your partner will like without asking.

  • Listen for key phrases! What common topics does your partner bring up?
  • Listen without thinking of your response. Really listen. Don’t do the thing where you are prepping your response while your partner is talking. Be wholly present for their words, before crafting yours.
  • Face them when they’re talking. Weird right? It helps you focus on what your partner is saying, and helps them feel heard.
  • Listen for patterns. Many times our partners talk about things at certain times or in certain places and that can be a great way to identify what they want for a present they may not buy themselves.

With those tips in mind, you will have a better chance of feeling out what your partner would like for the holidays.


Do you both want a puppy?

That is always a good gift.

Only if you are responsible owners though.

How badly do you want a puppy?

Puppies aside, the important thing to remember when getting your partner a gift is that it comes from a loving place. Gifts come in a thousand shapes and sizes – from a kiss on the cheek to well… a puppy? So don’t get caught up in monetary value – make sure your gifts come from the heart.

Here is a list to go down to help you decide on a gift for your partner. If you are having a hard time figuring out what to do, use this list to eliminate what wouldn’t be quite right, and what could be a great gift!

  1. Physical Gift?
  2. Handmade?
  3. Store-bought?
  4. Puppy?
  5. Why Not?
  6. Non-Physical Gift? – Trips or Experiences?
  7. Trips? – Disneyland, Tokyo, that one place they really want to visit.
  8. Specific experiences? – Museum, Concert Tickets, Spa Day?
  9. Hobby Help? – What are their hobbies? Can you get them something that compliments said hobby?
  10. What are their love languages? What are yours? Can you use your language to give them a gift that would speak to theirs?

Remember everyone; gifts come from the heart, not the wallet!

(I realize now after reading the blog all together it looks like I am passively trying to tell Rachel that I want a puppy for the holidays. I do not. We both very much want a dog – but it just isn’t the right time yet. Just wanted to address that.)




If you’re wanting support around listening or communicating with your partner, check out our free WWC Communication Scripts. They’re waiting for you!

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