How is it that we can do things for others without feeling guilty but when it comes time to take care of ourselves we can find a million reasons why you can’t. We decline self-care all the time, for reasons like:

  • “There’s no time…”
  • “I feel guilty…”
  • “It’s narcissistic…”
  • “My family or work need me more…”

Really?? What will happen when you collapse from exhaustion, poor health, or finally just don’t give a damn?

That’s exactly what almost always happens when people avoid self-care. It gets put on the back burner or at the bottom of a to-do list – when it is the most important thing you can do for yourself and those around you.

Being everything for everyone puts stress on your body. And when you are stressed, all kinds of health problems arise:

  • Headaches or migraines
  • Heart issues
  • Rashes
  • Depression
  • Eating disorders
  • Little or no energy
  • Short temper
  • Anxiety


So how are you going to start getting over this guilt about taking care of yourself?

First, let’s look at your MINDSET.













Your mindset is where everything begins. It dictates how everything else will go. Click To Tweet

We have been conditioned for years that it’s more important to put others before ourselves. But now we have selfies, live streams showing what we are doing, blogs about our lives, followers on social media. So how is ok to put ourselves first in these areas and not feel guilty but yet feel guilty about self-care?

Try thinking of self-care as an act of service to yourself.

Remember all you do for others and tell yourself that you owe it to yourself to take care of you.

When your negative inner voice starts talking to you, change the words to a positive statement. “I really shouldn’t…” can be changed to “Yes, I deserve it!”

Second, set aside a non-negotiable amount of TIME FOR YOURSELF every day. 

You can even make it the same time daily that way it becomes a routine. Plus others will start to learn that it’s your special time. And make it clear there are to be no interruptions! Put on headsets, close the door, go for a walk, but do it alone.


Make a list of things you do every day – for yourself and everyone else. Then go thru that list and see what can be eliminated, who else could do that task, a time-saving way to do it. By handing over some of your duties, it takes the burden off you and relieves the guilt if it doesn’t get done. Make sure to include your self-care time in this list. Remember, it’s non-negotiable.

Fourth, learn to SAY, “NO.”

Learning to say no is probably one of the hardest things to do because this is where the guilt comes in – especially if someone asks you to do something you don’t want to do.

“Oh, she needs my help.” 

“It will only take a minute.” 

Those could be minutes you need to take care of yourself.  Lots of times they may not need your help, but ask because you are always there to do it for them. They’ll get over it!

Fifth and finally, HONOR YOURSELF.

Think of all the things you do for everyone (which they hopefully appreciate) and honor yourself by doing something special that you like: go for a massage, get a pedicure, try a new hairstyle, take a bubble bath. It’s not about spending money on yourself but using the time to re-charge yourself.

Once you start practicing self-care and you, your family, friends, and co-workers start seeing a more relaxed and happier person, the guilt will lessen if not leave altogether. They might even encourage you to increase your routine because you are no longer the stressed out crazy person you were!

Remember, self-care is the most loving act you can do for yourself and others.

Make self-care part of your daily routine with the WWC Family Meeting. Download your free copy today!

Patti Stevens is an Ageless Lifestyle Coach who helps women at a crossroad to bring their life into balance – body, mind and spirit. She is a certified Yoga, Pilates, and Qigong instructor, Holy Fire Karuna, and Usui Reiki Master and essential oil advocate. You can connect with Patti by visiting her website, check out her Facebook page, Twitter and catch her on YouTube.