It’s a challenge to find “the one.”

Picture this: You wake up and realize you have fallen in love. Shivering with excitement, your heart ready to explode with joy and all you want to do is shout it to the world.

It felt like you would never get there, after all the difficult relationships, fumbled dates and loving friends setting you up with good intentions.

On that day you realize it didn’t take much at all, just the right fit of interests, attention, and fun. You never thought it would come with a massive amount of work and personal development.

The reality is that loving another person unconditionally is the hardest thing you will ever do.

Ho'oponopono | Wright Wellness Center | Charlene Anestis

Why Love is A Constant Lesson in Forgiveness

Loving is the raw emotion of the heart intertwined with the logic of the brain and the personality traits of our soul that are trying to develop. Which can be a complicated recipe of loving, learning and misguided action.

When we enter a relationship with another person, it is a promise of love but also an acceptance that future hurt feelings are likely. Some relationships may be easier than others, but the truth is that all relationships are hard.

Relationships require us to bare our soul with vulnerability, trust as we will never get hurt and be open-minded about the traits of another developing person. Those requirements are hard enough for most people to embrace due to past experiences.

In the big picture, we are making an agreement to play a delicate game with our heart open as we hold onto the belief that the other person will always consider our feelings before they say or do anything.

Well, often people take action and do not think about the consequences and impact they have on those that they love the most. A developing soul does not always know how to take action in their life, go after the things they want most in life without causing upset to their partners.

Mistakes will happen, misguided actions will create conflict and sometimes just plain not being conscious of a partner’s needs and beliefs will cause hurt feelings and a rift in the relationship.

Ho’oponopono Can be Practiced in Every Relationship

Ho’oponopono can help bring peace back to the heart. Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness. Forgiveness needs to be at the forefront of every relationship we enter into including our partners, children, parents, friends, and acquaintances.

Forgiveness practices are never about condoning what someone has done. We practice forgiveness to release ourselves from the suffering that we have internalized.

The practice of Ho’oponopono releases these internal feelings and allows peace to fill our heart.

Here is the Practice:

Clear your mind and settle into your body comfortably. You may take a moment to repeat Ho’oponopono several times while you visualize the person you are forgiving.

I’m sorry.
Please Forgive Me.
I Love you.
Thank You

The second part to understand about practicing ho’oponopono is that we must repeat the practice for ourselves. After you visualize repeating the practice to another person, you will then turn the practice to forgiving yourself.

It is when we forgive ourselves for allowing another person to be the focus of our suffering that we can bring the power to heal back within ourselves.


All Suffering is Created Within our Mind

When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate. @CarlJung @CharleneAnestis Click To Tweet

We have a part in creating our reality with our conscious and unconscious thoughts based on our previous memories and points of suffering.

We may have experienced something a long time ago that affected us deeply, and it is stored in our subconscious as a point of reference.

For example, as a child, someone may have taken our last piece of candy, and we were not able to get more. As an adult, our partner may finish off our leftovers from a night out, and we feel the same pain as we did as a child, we may become angry that they thoughtlessly took something we deemed important to us.

Our subconscious holds the memory that when we have only one portion of something, someone may take it and lead us to feel victimized as if we are not able to get more. It is when we hold onto this subconscious point of pain that creates the opportunity for suffering.

Ho'oponopono | Wright Wellness Center | Charlene Anestis

Purifying our Mind to Accept Love

Ho’oponopono purifies these memories from our mind. We may start out forgiving the person that has triggered our memory, but the real work and benefits are to purify our point of suffering that has allowed us to use someone else’s actions to activate our internal pain.

When we harbor resentments and hurt without releasing into forgiveness, we are harming ourselves. Un-forgiveness allows buried anger, fear, and angst to become a barrier within us that keeps us from accepting love.

Use Ho’oponopono as a regular practice for inner peace and self-love. Release the internal blocks that forbid you from allowing the love that is available to you to be received.

It is simple to do anytime and anywhere without a difficult ceremony.

Ho’oponopono is the only practice you need in a relationship with yourself and others.

It will purify your memories when practiced over time and allow you to gain more happiness and accept more love.

May it bring more love your heart.

Charlene Anestis is a Transformational healing coach, Reiki Master, and Holistic Health Enthusiast. Through her own experiences, she came to believe that we all have an inner brilliance that is just waiting to shine through and enrich the world. It has become her mission to help others to embrace their sensitive side, soothe their inner critic and focus on self-love so they may fully embrace their life. She helps others begin their journey through her 5 Day Inner Peace Challenge.