How many people have you had sex with?

We’ll bet many of you cringed at that question.

The question “what is your number?” has almost lost its original meaning at this point. That phrase has so much implied weight to it – we all somehow KNOW what that question is, rather than what it sounds like.

How many people have you had sex with?

That’s what “what’s your number?” really means.

Now, we don’t have to tell you that for some reason there is a large social stigma around the number of sexual partners we have in our lives. Why it matters so much to some people — we both will truly never understand.

We all go through different experiences in life which, in turn, shape who we are as humans. Being able to understand someone else’s perspective of life without placing a judgment on it is INCREDIBLY hard for people. We like to put the information we learn into a “box” mentally – so we don’t have to re-assess how we feel about things. For example, in both of our mental “boxes,” snakes are considered “bad” 100% of the time. I mean, is there a positive snake story out there? If you have one, we’d love to hear it! But we don’t place any judgment on the beautiful human beings who choose to keep them as pets. It would be entirely unfair to judge a decision that someone else made that makes them happy.

If you place judgment on others for doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable – we want to encourage you to look internally to see why you feel that way. Where is that feeling coming from?

While we are all entitled to our opinions, it’s when we want other people to change what they do to fit our worldviews — that’s when a problem is created.

So you have only had sex with one person, or maybe you have had sex with a hundred people – what difference does it make? Granted that with 100 sexual partners you are more likely to come across the “average risks” of sex much more often – but that goes for ANY chosen activity (like driving a race car – the dangers are always there, and your chance of exposure to them only increases the more times you do it). So, why not just come from a place of curiosity and non-judgment? If we’re all careful, mindful, and conscious of science, we can have healthy sex lives and not feel shameful talking about it with the people who matter most. We’re talking more about this blog on this week’s podcast — click here to listen!

If this blog made you curious about wanting to open a dialogue about this with your partner, check out our WWC Communication Scripts. They’re one of our favorite free resources.

Who cares how many people someone is having sex with? #safesex #sexpositive #mindyourbusiness Click To Tweet